But we hear you ask:
What's So Great About Utopia Then?
Freedom of Religion!
Oppressed by the Protestant ruler of your home? Come live here and be Catholic! Oppressed by the Catholic ruler of your home? Come live here and be Protestant! Or neither! We really don't care. Hindu what you like.
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Pacifism! (mostly)
Do you hate war? So do we! Our policy: be prepared. Men and women alike train in military ways in the eventuality of conflict, but we see that eventuality as one that should be avoided whenever possible, and not one that should be a source of honour or pride. We will only use warfare for the purposes of defence, defence for our allies, and attacking tyranny, and we will carefully consider each case, settling them diplomatically unless conflict is completely unavoidable.
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Patriarchy! Yaaaaay!
Are you a noble slave-owning man in search of yet more privilege? In Utopia, it is decreed that every wife must dutifully serve their husband, and every child their parents. Bring your family, and have your children taught. Education is available to all, except your slaves of course. And as a mark of shame, slaves will be bound in chains made from only the materials of least value: gold and silver. If nature thought these things were to be sought after, they wouldn't have hid them away, so they're only good enough for your slaves and your toilets.
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Visit our world-famousMARKET
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T E S T I M O N I A L S
In the words of a visitor:
I had a great time in Utopia. In the morning I'd walk down to the market, fill my bag with ingredients, then take them home for my wife to cook for me. Not that I wasn't working. I happen to be a carpenter, so each day I would use lumber from the market to make shelves, tools, or various furniture. Then, at the end of my 6 hours of work (all work is limited to 6 hours in Utopia) I would drop my wares off at the market. |
Edmund Blackadder